oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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