his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
