I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize
