i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
we're making bets on your personal life
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
