I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
