I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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