I never want a future conversation of ours to include the words "quart of semen" in it
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Randomize
