I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Be still, my beating vagina.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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