and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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