does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
