LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize
