we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
