You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
I bet he comes in French.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
