He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Randomize
