We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
