I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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