yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
