He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
