I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
foreskin is a definite game changer
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Randomize
