my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
operation have a gay friend backfired
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
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