how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
You know, be my cock's hype man.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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