you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
