No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you tried to scramble eggs in my dryer last night. i want you here in 15 minutes to clean this shit up
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
