I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
