You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Sorry my hands just texted you
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
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