I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can you bring me the toilet please
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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