You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
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