I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
We named our party play list daddy issues
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
