The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
