I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
You're like the curious george of whores
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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