I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
