Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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