Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
