thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Two words: blizzard sex
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
