Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
