Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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