You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
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