Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Randomize
