i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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