I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
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