What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
