Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Randomize
