We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
Welp...herpes.
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
