i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
