Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
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