I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Let's get the cat blown out
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Randomize
