defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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