Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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