even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I went to an adult Halloween party last night dressed as Mrs. Doubtfire, but I woke up on a stranger's couch surrounded by sleeping children in karate gi's. And I accidentally flushed my granny wig mid-puke, so if they wake up I'm gonna have to convince them that I'm just a weird older man and not a terrible cross dresser.
How did you come to this point in your life?
Good bartenders.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
