gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Randomize
