its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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